It’s a week past Thanksgiving. Hopefully we are recovered from the food coma induced by too much turkey, sweet potatoes and green bean casserole. Perhaps we are also losing the ringing in our ears induced by family squabbles.
During holiday dinners, some of us are compelled to sit across the table from people who feel differently about the issues facing our nation: the threat of an impeachment, the Russians (or somebody) meddling in our elections, who should the Democrats select as their presidential candidate, to name a few.
I’m sorry, I am not one of those people who feel we should handle differences by saying, “Let’s not talk about it.” There are important issues facing our nation, and rather than making superficial chit-chat, I like to talk about important issues with those I love.
My husband sometimes wishes I’d not stir things up, but, like me, he also cares deeply about where we are going as a nation.
My sister and brother-in-law are at the complete opposite end of the political spectrum than we are. On her last visit to California, we tried desperately not to get into politics. But, besides being raised on the same mother’s milk, we were also raised by a father who found current events fascinating.
At Tuesday's Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors hearings on cannabis, there was much talk about the positive aspects of growing and using pot.
He was voraciously well-read and discussed politics at the table and in the car. It just seems that my sister and I heard different parts of the discussion.
My younger daughter’s long-time beau (and his parents) also chime in at different ends of the political divide than we do.
That one is tricky.
We like our daughter’s boyfriend. We like his parents. We really, really do not want to offend these people. Recently, I tried talking books with the boyfriend’s mother. Like me, she’s a big reader. However, soon I realized that even the books she reads reflect her political perspective (as mine do, as well). Talking books did not draw us closer.
My husband and I moved here from a bubble. The predominant industry was technology…where innovators were abound. That translates into a very young population. You can guess what kind of a bubble we lived in. It was homogeneous and it was very different than our new home in the Santa Ynez Valley.
However, I’ve gotten to know someone who seems to handle these divisions gracefully: Joan Hartmann, a candidate for re-election as 3rd District Supervisor of Santa Barbara County. The race interests me because Joan’s district (our own) isn’t red, and it isn’t blue. It is a mix — just like our nation.
And if people in Santa Barbara County can’t talk to each other about what matters, there isn’t much hope for the United States, is there?
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The 3rd District represents the advantaged Santa Ynez Valley and the less economically advantaged areas of Isla Vista and Guadalupe. The district represents a demographically older population (the Santa Ynez Valley) and a college-aged population (U.C. Santa Barbara in Isla Vista). It is a combination of rural-agricultural, and suburban. It has strawberry fields, vineyards and, now, pot farms. It has tourism and a world-class university.
It’s almost a microcosm for the country.
I asked Supervisor Hartmann how she best handles governing in this diverse region. Joan Hartmann speaks fast, and she had a lot to say on this subject. She says that in her job, she is fortunate to travel around the County and listen to her constituents. She feels that is key: listening and hearing.
When we listen to people, she says, we have to stop thinking that we are smarter than the other person. I think that bears repeating—because it was a lesson for me. We have to stop thinking we are smarter than the person we’re talking to.
Supervisor Hartmann, as busy as she is, really listens to the person she’s speaking to. Formerly, Hartmann was a professor of government. She knows and is committed to the principles of democracy. She told me that the Pew Research Poll of twenty years ago indicated that people trusted each other a great deal more than they do today.
Somehow, despite differences in opinion, we must figure out a way to trust one another. How can this happen?
Hartmann tries to connect with all her constituents. In her own Buellton community, she meets with her neighbors on a fire prevention committee. They discuss their common goal: fire prevention. When the meeting is finished, they chat in a neighborly way, over a glass of wine.
My own small street has only three houses on it. One is very politically conservative. Another is very liberal. The house in the middle is being remodeled for the new occupants.
I don’t yet know their political persuasion. But I know that soon the three of us need to meet over some common concern: resurfacing our road, putting up a more attractive mail box, maybe pruning the trees lining the road. I know we can do that with civility. And a glass of wine.