One year ago today I went cold turkey.
No, not drugs or alcohol. I don’t have a problem with these substances. Instead, I made the decision that in 2018 there would be no purchases of clothing, shoes, purses or jewelry.
Anyone who knows me, knows I love to shop. Ever since I was a child, my heart would skip a beat when I had something new to wear. Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money. But my father owned a restaurant in the wholesale garment district of Chicago, so twice a year, my mother and I would go shopping near my father’s restaurant where we could get the latest clothes at bargain prices.
I love fashion — the beauty, the creativity. My husband scratches his head and cannot understand this passion. He doesn’t get why having something new to wear gives me such a thrill. For him, old is good. It means comfort.
Since I love clothes so much, why on earth would I want to deprive myself of this pleasure for one whole year? Last January, I read a column by one of my favorite writers, Ann Patchett. It resonated with me. She said she realized she’d become a slave to shopping. This wasted an enormous amount of time and money. Every moment spent in stores or in front of a screen is time which could be used more productively. And, it goes without saying, every dollar spent on clothing, shoes, purses, jewelry, is money which could be used to better our own or someone else’s life. Anyway, a year ago, I decided to take the plunge. For one year, no new clothes, shoes, purses or jewelry.
But it wasn’t just time or money. It was also the realization that I really do have enough stuff. When we moved here 20 months ago, my husband and I did an enormous purge. We made endless trips to Goodwill, we rented a dumpster and had it placed at the bottom of our old driveway. By the end of a week, it was filled. Yet even with moving to the Santa Ynez Valley considerably lighter in possessions, I still had too much. How many pairs of black boots does one woman need?
So, being someone who likes a challenge as well as someone who rarely does things in moderation, I made a pledge for a year of 'no shopping.' My husband and daughter didn’t think I could do it. They suggested I enroll some friends as a support group — like in A.A. However, this was not as easy as it sounded. I got two responses from two different types of friends. The ones who don’t care much for shopping anyway, like KK, shrugged their shoulders and said, “No problem.” And my fellow shopaholics, like Donna, looked at me as if I was crazy. “Why would you do a thing like that?” So, I was in it alone.
What did I do throughout this past 12 months when I needed some “retail therapy”? When I was blue and knew that a quick purchase would be just the fix?
Three things. One, I bought a book. Two, I bought presents (though I really tried to keep that in check, realizing it represented a form of cheating). Three, my dear husband gave me modest gift certificates to my favorite stores at holidays. Mother’s Day, my birthday, our anniversary, these came throughout the year and provided a delightful treat.
So reader, that leaves you with one question and me with another. First, your question: did I make it through the year? I did. Almost. I’ll explain. There’s a big family reunion this January. Two weeks ago, we were in San Francisco, where the bright lights and stores of Union Square beckoned. I caved and bought a new dress for the event. But since the credit card bill doesn’t come until it is 2019, do you think you can give me this one?
Now, my question to myself: Am I going to re-up and take the no-shopping pledge for 2019? Stay tuned.